2022年雅思外教范文15：上传小我隐私到收集的利弊（含音频）

你好呀，我是来自加拿大的雅思外教Mac。
本日，给大家带来，2022年3月3日大陆雅思大作文真题的范文。

老规矩，以下是正文目录：

1，题目

2，审题

3，高分范文

4，范文朗读

5，范文隧道词汇中英对照，包括：

题目概述不雅观点类大作文高分句型展示“词汇丰富度”的词汇&短语展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇&句型

上题：

Today more people put personal and private information online (address, phone number and credit card number) to do everyday activities such as banking and shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

审题：

Type: Opinion 不雅观点类大作文 (我的不雅观点：positive trend)Body 1: has brought about unparalleled convenience 带来了无与伦比的便利Body 2: despite the concerns of privacy, this convenience has been a boon for most people 只管有隐私担忧，对给大多数人的生活带来了很多便利Key Words: personal and private information online/positive or negative?

- Model Answer 高分范文 & 范文朗读 -

▲范文音频戳这里▲

It has become increasingly ubiquitous for citizens to disclose personal information on the Internet, such as credit card numbers, in order to shop and conduct financial transactions. Despite the drawbacks this phenomenon poses, overall, it is my opinion thatthis trend ismore beneficial than deleterious.

One of the most significant benefits of using private information online, when shopping and conducting financially related activities, is that it allows for a massive increase in convenience. In order to participate in any type of online transaction, it is imperative, of course, that a certain amount of relevant personal details be disclosed so that the transaction may proceed. Details such as account numbers, names, and addresses must be input for the required product or service to be used, and without, one cannot reap the benefit of increased convenience, meaning a return to times when even the most trivial of errands, for instance going to the bank, could consume a large part of a person’s time.

This convenience has incurred a fundamental lifestyle change to a sizable proportion of the world’s population in the way that it has freed up a significant portion of their time to spend in other areas, such as work, play, and education. As such, what to some may seem as a sacrifice of privacy, this development of purchasing goods and services online, which necessitates the disclosure of personal details, has actually resulted in the creation of new economies, albeit with serious privacy concerns. These concerns, however, can be mitigated by regulations, while conversely, the benefit of sharing one’s details online has brought a convenience that up till 20 years ago one could only imagine.

In conclusion, despite the risk that an individual’s privacy could be compromised, there is no doubt, in my opinion, that the trend of sharing one’s personal details online is actually positive for most peoples and their respective societies.

313 words

- Essay Analysis 范文解析 -

- (1) Introduction

Paraphrasing from the Statement/Question 题目概述:

Today = has becomemore = increasinglypeople = citizensput (online) = discloseonline = the Internetnumber = numbersto = in order tobanking = conduct financial transactionsshopping = shopdevelopment = trend

Standard Phrase for the “Opinion” type essay 不雅观点类大作文高分句型：

It has becomeit is my opinionthat this trend is more beneficial than deleterious

Words showing Cohesion (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:

It, such as, in order toDespitethis, overall,thatmore…than

Vocabulary 高分的词汇和短语：

ubiquitous 十分普遍的；无处不在的financial transactions 金融交易the drawbacks 缺陷poses 产生；造成

- (2) Body 1 -

Aspects that must be referred to 这段须要提到：

first part of argument about why this is a positive trend

Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：

One of the most significant benefits of…is that

Vocabulary and Collocations 高分隧道词汇和短语：

conducting financially related activities 发生金融交易的行为online transaction 网上交易imperative 必要的relevant 干系的disclosed 透露；透露proceed 进行；推进input 输入reap 收成；取得a return to times 倒回到……的光阴even the most trivial of 乃至最小的errands 跑腿

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：

whenis thatit allows forIn order toany type, it is, of course,thatcertainso thatsuch asFor, and without,one, meaningwhen even, for instance, could

- (3) Body 2 -

Aspects that must be referred to 这段须要提到：

further developing the main idea of convenience contrasted with the concern of privacy

Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：

This

Vocabulary and Collocations 高分的词汇和短语：

Incurred 引起；带来fundamental lifestyle change 生活办法的巨变/根本上的转变a sizable proportion of the world’s population 环球相称大比例的人口freed up 解放；开释a significant proportion of ___ time 很多韶光what some may seem as a 一些人眼里的sacrifice of privacy 捐躯隐私necessitates 使成为必要the discloser of 表露the creation of 创造new economies 新兴经济serious privacy concerns 严重的隐私问题mitigated 缓解；减轻that up till ___ years ago 直到……年前one could only imagine 只能想象

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：

This conveniencein the way that ittheirotherAs such,, what to some may seem as a, this development, which, has actually resulted in, albeit withThese concerns, however, can be, while conversely,, the benefit of, and will continue to do so, a

- (4) Conclusion -

Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：

In conclusion,there is no doubt, in my opinion, that

Vocabulary and Collocations 高分隧道词汇和短语：

compromised 妥协respective 各自的

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：

despitethat, there, thatthe trend ofis actuallyandtheir respective

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